While waiting for a friend of mine to join me at a restaurant, I observed a couple on the table next to me. They had ordered a large plate of calamari rings to share. I thought to myself - ‘good idea, excellent taste’ as I’d just had the same plate. Although in my own case that large sharing plate had been just for only me - a subject for exploration some other time. They each in turn had a calamari ring. Turn by turn, deep in conversation; the taste of the rings evidently contributing to their enjoyment and the flow of their dialogue and animated exchange of words. Soon, there was only one calamari ring left on the plate. So now what do you do? It sat on the plate lonely and waiting. They both kept talking, eyes darting to the calamari yet not one going for it.
Each one was waiting for the invitation from the other to go for it.…neither was willing to step forward and take it for themselves…it seemed much better to be invited or indeed cajoled into it
How many times do we as individuals wait to be invited or asked to step forward? Come out from behind the curtains on to the stage. How often do we stand back, hoping that in working hard and relentlessly with no form of self promotion, we will be recognised for our hard work, the results we’ve created and the value we’ve contributed to the team, the family and how selfless we’ve been? The truth is this, without owning your own press and promoting yourself you give total responsibility for your acceptance and confirmation that you belong into the hands of another. In fact what you do, is you place the decision of your value, your worth and your esteem in the hands of another. It’s another who decides whether you are worthy or not.
My own view is this, there is nothing wrong with quietly beavering away and working hard, contributing and being selfless. There is nothing wrong as long as you are not waiting and waiting and hoping and hoping to be seen and appreciated by others.
It is important to see yourself first and to recognise yourself for who you are and for what you do. Your sense of pride, value, esteem and recognition must come from within. Then of course if this recognition is supported and offered by another, you can step forward to accept it with grace and confirmation of what you already know.
If you want the last calamari, it’s your right to go for it – no needing to be invited